Gym Class

My son truly enjoys his weekly gym class. As I watch him run and jump and climb, I feel immensely blessed. 

I didn’t have this opportunity when I was a kid.

Dulu gw Alhamdulillah dikasih les bahasa Inggris and that’s it. I get it, gw 4 bersodara bapak emak PNS. Duit darimaneee buat bayarin semua anak ekskul ekstra? Ya emang kennot.

Khal on the other hand can choose whatever extracurriculars he wants and inshaAllah Thomy & I could provide.

I sat watching him and thought to myself: well isn’t that the point of parenthood? To give your offspring(s) better opportunities, better care, better life quality. That’s why we parents work hard — so we can afford to pay the best healthcare and education for the kid. 

Jadi there’s some truth behind slogan “dua anak cukup.” Jujur YES butuh modal shay untuk gedein anak berkualitas. Butuh $$$ untuk kasih anak gizi baik, bayar tuition fee di sekolah yang baik, dan bayar extracurricular yang bisa menunjang bakat dan minat anak. But we need more than these material stuff — anak juga berhak dapet ortu yang bahagia dan selalu berusaha untuk penuhin tangki cinta mereka ☺️💕

When you're stuck in a rut, go outside

Go out and pay attention to everything. 

I decided to attend a yoga class today. 

Please leave your ego outside of the door 🙏🏼

The class started at 9AM → I ordered Gojek at 8.10AM → the driver arrived around 8.20AM. I was at my parents’ so we’re talking📍Condet to ➡️📍Senopati

🫠

I did the mental gymnastics:

• wadu abangnya lama juga 10 menit baru sampe lokasi pickup
• hmph harusnya kemaren aja w yoga
• gila banget sih Jakarta, masa 11KM butuh 40 menit naek motor???!!!

But then like a flipped switch, I know in an instant: it’s me. I’m the problem 😙 

Dah tau berangkat dari Condet kenapa mepet banget? Dah tau Jakarta macetnya gak ngotak, kenapa gak pesen ride dari tadi? Kenapa gak prepare lebih early? Wakakakakaaka 

Then I let it go. I free my brains of all the unproductive shoulda woulda coulda simply by happily blaming myself.

I take full accountability of my actions. 

And that is so f*cking freeing. Buh-bye victim mentality. Life is dynamic, circumstances are bound to be shitty sometimes — but I am always in charge of my thoughts. I can always choose how I’m going to react to things.

I smiled the rest of the way. I arrived at 8:59AM, with only one minute to spare 🤣 the yoga flow was SO good. I did my first assisted pincha, thanks to the instructor! Alhamdulillah I made it. Whatever you’re vibing will come back right at you, so try to send mostly the good ones — good vibes return manyfold 💕

Musings from Batukaras

I wrote this short note for my deceased father (may he rest in peace). I'm posting here to leave something for the internet —  there was once a man named Raspu Fermana who lived on this Earth and on his sojourn was so very loved. Enjoy.

Dad, I just got home from a roadtrip to Batukaras. It’s near Pangandaran — remember that one time you took us there a bajillion years ago?

Sunset at Batukaras 📸 taken by my husband

Anyway. I met a girl (wo)manning a stall on the side of the road. She’s about my age, and I can’t stop thinking that if you hadn’t worked hard in your youth — I would have become her. I would’ve gone to some SMAN di Sukabumi, jagain warung seblak Mamah sambil cari beasiswa cuz there’s no money for me to go to college.

If you hadn’t worked so hard to get us out of poverty, my life would’ve been poles apart. I never would’ve made it to FEUI and met my husband. I never would’ve gotten that job in SGP. I never would’ve had Khal. 

You were the one who taught me the power of dreams, who encouraged me to aim high, who showed me the beauty of determination and the sheer strength of ‘AKU PASTI BISA’.

For that, I am forever grateful. You changed the course of destiny. My world is a better place because of you. Your hard work carries on to the next gen; your descendants' lives are immeasurably better because of you. A fucking fine accomplishment. 

Thank you for refraining from main cewe, mabok, judi. Thank you for giving me a stable childhood. Thank you for all the joy you brought to my life. For every dream you made come true. For bringing out the best in me and believing I can.

Take care, Dad. I’ll see you soon 💋