Nikalie’s Social Experiment

Have you guys watched the best TikTok series in 2025 (in my humble opinion)?

She singlehandedly dismantled eons of propaganda against Muslims 

Nikalie Monroe was running a social experiment, calling houses of worship to see if they would help provide baby formula for her nonexistent starving baby who hadn’t eaten since "last night".

Last update I read, she called:

• 33 churches 
• 1 Buddhist temple 
• 1 Islamic center

The result? 

• 9 churches said yes ✅
• Buddhist temple said yes ✅
• Islamic center said yes ✅

A few of those who said no mentioned they often got scammed. 

It made me reflect on my own experience. Jujur gw beberapa kali kena scam 🤣 dari beli voucher yang katanya “donasi buat anak-anak penyintas kanker untuk berobat,” 🤥 sampe ibu-ibu random di stasiun yang nyamperin gw minta duit buat ongkos pulang.

Looking back, of course I am upset. I was just trying to help. What kind of dirtbag preys on other people's emotions to gain sympathy and commit fraud?? I am a Muslim, hence I am at a crossroads: it is literally one of the pillars of Islam to give to those in need. 

Tapi ya udah. Uangnya gak seberapa. Udah bukan urusan gw mau diapain tu duit sama si scammer 🤷🏻‍♀️

Islamic Center of Charlotte taught me a lesson. Be kind. Assume the best of others. Remember what the Prophet (ﷺ) said, 

"Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the worst of false tales; and do not look for the others' faults.” 

❤️

I Grew a Life in Here

I have these white stretch marks on my lower belly

Also known as striae alba — they form when the skin is stretched quickly, causing collagen and elastin fibers to tear. I got these during pregnancy. They were red and raw in the beginning.

I do not wish to undergo any sort of treatment to remove these stretch marks.

You see, every child is nothing short of a miracle. They started off as a heartbeat; then with Allah’s will, grew into a full-size baby in their mama's womb.

So what do you mean you'd like me to erase one of the proofs that my body is capable of doing the heavenly work of growing a human being? That shows my organs could literally adjust themselves to accommodate a baby? That tells me my skin could stretch out just like that and return to normal after he popped out?

Nah.

These marks are proofs that my body is fucking amazing, and they are signs that the most amazing thing happened here once.

I will keep these stretch marks for as long as I live, thank you very much ❤️ 

The Pitfall of Research

Researching is great, but it can give you fake dopamine hits. 

You might feel like you’ve accomplished something, but in reality, you’re just doing the groundwork. I get it though… we don’t want to ship products that no one wants or needs. Do your research, but keep it to like, once a month.

Action is where it’s at! The saying "learning by doing" exists for a reason. Creating and shipping a product, even a flawed one, offers insights and lessons that no amount of reading can provide.

Relax. Don't worry about getting it wrong, unless you're a medical professional (please, for the love of God, finish your training first!).

"Do you have a big dream?"

I was scrolling through TikTok when a girl popped up on my screen and asked, "Do you have a big dream?"

I starred at my screen, feeling like she was talking directly to me, and my immediate, honest answer was "no."

Because my life right now is quite literally my biggest dream comes true 🥹 Alhamdulillah ya Rabb

I just got home from yoga which is always versatile: I moved (taking care of my body), stretched (flexibility), and meditated (mind). You see, me exercising twice a week? NEVER happened in my life. Ever. I might have been physically slimmer in my twenties, but baby, I am much stronger now.

After yoga, I bought a coffee and sat down to read a book, with nowhere to be. My husband, a true dreamboat, took our son to visit his grandparents. Being a mom is yet another proof I am living my dream.

When I decided it was time to head home, I just walked to the MRT, rode one single stop, then walked the rest of the way. That's how strategic my place is.

I don't have a boss. I don't have anyone to answer to. My laptop and a Wi-Fi connection are all I need to make a living. I am incredibly blessed.

I can put food on my table and never be hungry. I have access to clean water and hot shower. I can buy an entire Sephora shelf if I want to, but I know my skin doesn't need all those fancy products to glow. Buying things I don't actually need is wasteful, and I've realized that happiness doesn't come from having a lot of things. 

I have enough. I am enough. And that, is a beautiful feeling.

This is a hot topic among Indonesian parenting influencers recently. We need to teach our children the feeling of contentment to prevent them from becoming adults who abuse their power. Raising the next generation a sense of enough starts with parents who are content themselves. After all: monkey see, monkey do.

The only downside to all of this is that I no longer have that burning fire to "make it." I don't feel the need to be on the cover of a business magazine or to be part of a "people under a certain age" list. If you had asked me in my twenties, I probably would've replied that those were my dreams. Past tense. Not anymore, though. I’m content right where I am. Alhamdulillah ya Rabb.

Of course, I know this comes from a place of immense privilege. I make enough money to live comfortably. I'm not naive; if that weren't the case, I'm sure that ambition would come roaring back.

For now, I'm simply embracing this feeling of contentment. I don't need a grand, sweeping dream.. because I'm already living it ♥ 

The Gift of Awareness

Gw mau ambil mat, ketinggalan di mobil. Bebeb parkirnya paralel, mepet sama mobil depannya. Pintu mobil persis di gap antara 2 mobil. Once I’m done, ada mbak2 yang somehow pilih keluar lewat the exact same gap padahal ada kaya, 3 other ways. So yauda saya yang mundur muter ke jalan lain. For a second there, I felt “kalah”. 

Which was absurd?

I am going to yoga, right now during office hours. I have no job; yet I am earning a decent amount of WiFi money. I have the best husband; and I have the privilege to call the most wonderful kid mine. I am healthy and I have the freedom and means to do whatever I want. I am so fucking blessed, MashaAllah Tabarakallah.

This feeling popped outta nowhere, but I’m glad I caught it! That’s what meditation is for. Feelings are fleeting; they’re temporary. It’s the mental story we tell ourselves about why we feel a certain way that stays. These emotional storytelling can be conscious or unconscious. They significantly influence how we experience and react to our emotions, how we’ll remember the moment in the future.

I could just stand there on a face-off demanding her to turn around. But what good does it do? It will certainly arouse resentment to both of us. I’m glad I turned around and let her passed. If nothing else, it was just me practicing core Islamic teaching: ease another person's business so that Allah will ease us in our time of need. 

Sooooo make sure whatever narrative we attach to our feeling is a good one!!!!

Have a great day, folks 💕

(Not) Rushing Through Life

It's almost 5 PM and I’ve barely finished 5% of today’s workload. 

Sigh. Sometimes you just can’t do it all. I mean, today I took Khal to summer camp, had a lunch date, filled out some PBG application. I’ve got a lot on my plate. So it makes sense.. right? 

We often overestimate what we can do in a day and underestimate what we can do in a year.

Significant achievements are usually the result of consistency — sustained, incremental progress over a long period. 

I tried. I showed up today. That’s all that matters 🌻

Gym Class

My son truly enjoys his weekly gym class. As I watch him run and jump and climb, I feel immensely blessed. 

I didn’t have this opportunity when I was a kid.

Dulu gw Alhamdulillah dikasih les bahasa Inggris and that’s it. I get it, gw 4 bersodara bapak emak PNS. Duit darimaneee buat bayarin semua anak ekskul ekstra? Ya emang kennot.

Khal on the other hand can choose whatever extracurriculars he wants and inshaAllah Thomy & I could provide.

I sat watching him and thought to myself: well isn’t that the point of parenthood? To give your offspring(s) better opportunities, better care, better life quality. That’s why we parents work hard — so we can afford to pay the best healthcare and education for the kid. 

Jadi there’s some truth behind slogan “dua anak cukup.” Jujur YES butuh modal shay untuk gedein anak berkualitas. Butuh $$$ untuk kasih anak gizi baik, bayar tuition fee di sekolah yang baik, dan bayar extracurricular yang bisa menunjang bakat dan minat anak. But we need more than these material stuff — anak juga berhak dapet ortu yang bahagia dan selalu berusaha untuk penuhin tangki cinta mereka ☺️💕

When you're stuck in a rut, go outside

Go out and pay attention to everything. 

I decided to attend a yoga class today. 

Please leave your ego outside of the door 🙏🏼

The class started at 9AM → I ordered Gojek at 8.10AM → the driver arrived around 8.20AM. I was at my parents’ so we’re talking📍Condet to ➡️📍Senopati

🫠

I did the mental gymnastics:

• wadu abangnya lama juga 10 menit baru sampe lokasi pickup
• hmph harusnya kemaren aja w yoga
• gila banget sih Jakarta, masa 11KM butuh 40 menit naek motor???!!!

But then like a flipped switch, I know in an instant: it’s me. I’m the problem 😙 

Dah tau berangkat dari Condet kenapa mepet banget? Dah tau Jakarta macetnya gak ngotak, kenapa gak pesen ride dari tadi? Kenapa gak prepare lebih early? Wakakakakaaka 

Then I let it go. I free my brains of all the unproductive shoulda woulda coulda simply by happily blaming myself.

I take full accountability of my actions. 

And that is so f*cking freeing. Buh-bye victim mentality. Life is dynamic, circumstances are bound to be shitty sometimes — but I am always in charge of my thoughts. I can always choose how I’m going to react to things.

I smiled the rest of the way. I arrived at 8:59AM, with only one minute to spare 🤣 the yoga flow was SO good. I did my first assisted pincha, thanks to the instructor! Alhamdulillah I made it. Whatever you’re vibing will come back right at you, so try to send mostly the good ones — good vibes return manyfold 💕

Musings from Batukaras

I wrote this short note for my deceased father (may he rest in peace). I'm posting here to leave something for the internet —  there was once a man named Raspu Fermana who lived on this Earth and on his sojourn was so very loved. Enjoy.

Dad, I just got home from a roadtrip to Batukaras. It’s near Pangandaran — remember that one time you took us there a bajillion years ago?

Sunset at Batukaras 📸 taken by my husband

Anyway. I met a girl (wo)manning a stall on the side of the road. She’s about my age, and I can’t stop thinking that if you hadn’t worked hard in your youth — I would have become her. I would’ve gone to some SMAN di Sukabumi, jagain warung seblak Mamah sambil cari beasiswa cuz there’s no money for me to go to college.

If you hadn’t worked so hard to get us out of poverty, my life would’ve been poles apart. I never would’ve made it to FEUI and met my husband. I never would’ve gotten that job in SGP. I never would’ve had Khal. 

You were the one who taught me the power of dreams, who encouraged me to aim high, who showed me the beauty of determination and the sheer strength of ‘AKU PASTI BISA’.

For that, I am forever grateful. You changed the course of destiny. My world is a better place because of you. Your hard work carries on to the next gen; your descendants' lives are immeasurably better because of you. A fucking fine accomplishment. 

Thank you for refraining from main cewe, mabok, judi. Thank you for giving me a stable childhood. Thank you for all the joy you brought to my life. For every dream you made come true. For bringing out the best in me and believing I can.

Take care, Dad. I’ll see you soon 💋